Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
