we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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