there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
