I cockslap morals
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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