I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
