He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Two words: nipple clamps
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