I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need water and some morals
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
