8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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