Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
