I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
