Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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