Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
