at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
