so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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