Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am one with the molecules
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
