he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
