Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
