Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
