You really coming over, don't trick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
