you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just pee around me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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