The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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