doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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