I think I won the penis lottery.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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