Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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