Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am mentally ready for anal.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize