I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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