So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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