is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
