She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
