the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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