after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
