8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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