Where is the hickey?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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