The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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