her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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