He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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