My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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