He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
