you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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