I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
