My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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