why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
