White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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