he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
