I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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