she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
