So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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