wat bout pragnant strippers??
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
organizing the empties. That sober.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
