I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
