I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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