Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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