I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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