Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is my gift to your gina
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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