Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
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Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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