everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
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I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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