hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize