he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
