I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
