I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
a search helicopter?!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
