i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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