where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
