i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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