totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
