Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
