apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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